I have been being silly at the moment, and tonight is no exception. I am going to bed really late and then getting annoyed at myself for being tired in the day. Small wonder. In the last two days I have had to get up early to teach the first lessons in school and so you would think I would compensate by going to bed earlier. Oh no. In England somehow it wasn't such a big deal. But I really do need my sleep because it helps me to think and when I have to think in a foreign language that is a lot more thinking to do to have to express myself. Although it comes more easily now than it used to, that's for sure. And it ought to.
Yesterday I was invited by my Leistungskurs class (A-Level) to a barbeque. I arrived half an hour late because I turned up to Gelferstr 40 not 14 because I read 14 in the email and in my head that turned into 40 (they can sound v alike in German, more so than in English) ... so I knocked politely on no 40's door, spoke to the painter who took me to the lady of the house, who came with a dog in her hand and informed me she once had a son at the Arndt Gymansium (my school) but that was 13 years ago. I scuttled away, mortified and also worried that I would be late. But oh dear, I was in fact one of the first and the barbeque turned out to be quite cringe because they all were talking about exams or going out and getting wasted in really teeny ways trying to look super cool. And because one of the teachers was there I didn't really know which camp to join: the kids who are only a few years younger than me or the teacher, or neither. I opted for neither at the start, mainly because in 7 months of teaching them they've never heard a word of German from me: now I was very much on show with my German and I knew it had to be good otherwise they'd be silly. It was fine, not perfect, as usual, but not shocking, phew. But then more and more pupils arrived and it was just a bit awkward and I had to be somewhere else that evening anyway so after a few hours I left.
I left to go to a choir rehearsal. I have decided to stay in Berlin for their concert (which I will therefore be able to sing in) in one of the "cathedrals" in the Gendarmenmarkt: my favourite square in the whole of Berlin (even more favourite than Leopoldplatz) ... the choir had gone on tour last weekend but I sadly couldn't go. But it was great because Hannah, my friend form the altos, had gone and had met loads of people and so I made lots of new friends, some of the scary tenors and basses are actually really nice.
And then so tonight? Well, it was most bizarre. Basically this company wrote to the SMD asking for a volunteer to film for a while going about Christian things. They are a Christian film company, though I'm not sure if the channel is. Anyway my friend Bettina was put forward and accepted - she is super, I am a big fan of hers, we pray together every week which I love and look forward to lots - and so they want to film her in four slots: at home, at uni, in her home group and in an SMD event. The last two I am heavily involved in and so I was filmed too. It was really w-e-i-r-d ... seriously odd ... I arrived and one of the girls was wearing much more make-up than normal, I had actually totally forgotten about it and so just turned up a bit unkempt (=ming) and I went into the Wohnzimmer where we normally spend our evening and it was full of film lights and tripods for cameras etc. And then we had to sign disclaimers saying goodness knows what apart from yes we are allowed to be published, yes we are "of age", yes everything is disclaimed (keine Ahnung) and then we sat down and were told to go about it "as if the cameras weren't there". I mean really. In the "chat" time I really regretted saying "oh it's different to England here" because then I was grilled by the presenter with a camera thrust in my face (or at least in its direction) about why (I still claim it has historical roots from the DDR, the Nazis and beyond) the Christian situation is so odd in Germany ... and then we had our little sing-song session - I used to find them so cringe but now quite enjoy them, esp as since last weekend I am teaching myself the guitar: I can now play 7 chords, E, D, C, G, A and E and A minor - a fact I'm very proud of indeed - although I can't always remember where my fingers are meant to go and I can't flip between chords yet. Anyway our Lobpreiszeit was so weird being filmed and then we had to pray on camera which I hated and so did the others and then we read the Bible text - this time out of Luke 8 where Jesus raises a girl from the dead and heals a woman with some medical haemorrage or something (?) - and discussed it. I'm not great at discussing texts in German with strange men walking around filming me as I did it, I can say.
However, the text was quality. At one point Jesus says to the woman he has just healed
"Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."
I can really see myself in that too - although in my own little sheltered way, there have been many things especially in the last 10 months which I have had to be healed from. If some kind of healing hadn't happened I wouldn't be able to look back and see what I've learnt and rejoice in the fact that I went through what I did then (even though it was proportionally not very much)
... funny that as I write this my favourite verse of one of my favourite (and classic) hymns has just come up.
No guilt of life, no fear of death,
This the power of Christ in me.
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
'til He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
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