saturday

Today has been one of those non-days where the time seems so slip past really fast and I get a bit done but it never feels like I get anything done. Possibly down to the fact that I had brunch and that confused my stomach which therefore confused my brain.

I had a great time last night: Tine (flatmate) and I invited round all the people from Berlin who had been on the StudiKon last weekend. It was great to see all but one there, plus a couple of extras, and we managed to have a barbeque on our balcony. Typical, though, that as we went to buy the food, we felt the first spots of rain and oh yes, the sky was cloudy. I obvs had been taking the nice weather for granted. I had to work out the whole jumper-dilemma again today. Summer is so much easier because of the fewer layers.

Tine and I were really unsure how to structure the evening. Of course everyone who we invited knew they were coming to see everyone again, but we weren't sure how much "content" to give it: should we just let everyone chat about what they'd learnt or instead get some kind of artificial chat going? In the end we opted for the latter ... not as cringe as it sounds: we started with a bit of a slideshow of Studikon pics which I'd collected in advance and the opening trailer - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmOvIzFmjU4 - which got everyone back in the Studikon mood, just hearing the music it seemed and then we introduced our neighbour (necessitating chat with people we hadn't really met yet) ... once that was over we all shared what we had learnt/what had affected us most about the last weekend.

It was great to see that people had really been affected by the whole weekend. It was a good time, a chance to see there are more Christians in Germany than just the few here in Berlin, a chance to hear some good teaching and a chance to chat and get to know people from all sorts of different backgrounds. It was a weird experience for me, the Studikon, because right at the end in the last meeting I just knew somehow that I had to think very seriously about coming back, as in really seriously, and that's not a nice thought in many respects, although in others obviously quite fun as there are some super people here and lots of work to be doing.

It did make me think though ... it was at the beginning not easy being away from lots of nice comfortable Christians who know you and understand you and because there are so many you can kind of find a natural level of friends just like in 'normal' life. But yes if there are oddballs you have to learn to build relationships with a totally different purpose - this time not just to be "nice", or more often with me, to be seen to be being nice - but instead because you really want to get to know and help and be helped by them. And in fact that's not that hard at all, as I keep discovering. And stupid as it might sound realising that has made me realise quite how odd I am, and how easily I pigeonhole and judge people as being "different" to me, when by definition them being different to me makes me different to them. Hmm.

Perhaps I make life super easy for myself, even though I can make it look a bit difficile. However it remains true that we are a small group struggling against many different problems than similar believers in England. If you tell someone in England that Jesus - trust in his life, death and resurrection as Saviour and Lord of my life - is the only and true way to relationship with God you could be looked upon as arrogant or deluded. Okay, fine. But in Germany there is a fear of absolutes, not just a wariness of or apathy towards them. Historically the last group of people who told the nation that their way was the way to victory were the group who invaded neighbouring countries, practised eugenics and gassed the Jews. That puts a completely different angle on the question of "how do I tell people about Jesus" ?

Anyway, the Studikon was indeed great and has greatly helped me to think about why I'm here and if, at all, I could be of help in the future.

As I write the clouds have gone. It's now really sunny in a lovely mellow evening-y kind of way.